I’m pretty sure that everyone goes through a phase of putting yourself last. I know that for most of my life, that is just how it was. Whatever made my friends and family happy was my priority. It took me almost thirty years (not 30 yet!) to not only love myself, but to find myself. What I wish I would have known a decade ago was that until you know yourself, nothing will make you happy.
How I learned to love myself more…
If you have ever suffered from depression or anxiety, then you probably relate to this post. As I mentioned earlier, I was so dedicated to those around me. Sadly, that feeling was often not reciprocated. I’m sure that you probably feel me when I say that I gave away the best parts of me to people who did not deserve it. While I cannot take those moments back, I was able to learn something from them. The real reason that I was not happy is because sitting by myself was literally awful. I would sit around and think about how I’m not exactly where I want to be, and in turn, it would bum me out. I would call my friends over, have a drink, or just do anything so that I did not feel so alone. Overcompensation? You bet! After moving away from not only my friends, but the home I had known for four years, things changed.
Coming home from college opened up a lot of doors. Not doors of opportunity, but definitely doors. Sitting alone wasn’t so bad after all. That moment is actually when I began to blog. It was always something that I had thought about doing, but never pursued. I think the most important thing that I found during this time was happiness. It was exciting, and something that I had not experienced in forever. Learning to love myself more than I loved others is what made me find my calling.
What it ultimately caused
Putting myself first gave me so much room for activities! I was able to sit and write upwards of three blog posts a day. Even though most of them never made it onto the blog, it was something that I was confident about. I’ve probably mentioned this before on here, but no one in my family would have ever thought that I would actually write. Me included! It became fun for me, and finally gave me a great purpose for the thousands (not really thousands) of notebooks I had collected over the years. Even now, I still stumble upon notebooks with fully realized blog posts written out in them. As a matter of fact, this stemmed from one of those random finds.
The most important part of being able to love myself was the physical health attributes that came along with it. As someone who has had some really dark moments with depression, it can take a toll on your health. Trust me. I could physically see my hair growing again, my skin clearing up, and honestly, my brain becoming less foggy. In addition to getting my life back in order, I was also able to hop back into classes with full force as well. So, while saying that I love myself might seem lame, it honestly changed my life.
Observations to note:
You know when something happens, and then you get to look back on everything that led up to that moment? Well that happens to me pretty often. I’ll look back on a test that I failed, but then I realize I went to a party that night. Was I making horrible choices? Oh my god, yes! I clearly cannot change any of that, but that is part of the reason I am writing this. Every moment of every single day is a learning experience, and the best way to learn is to read a personal story. Don’t be afraid to look back at what you were doing before. Nothing in the world beats first hand experience, seriously.
So, when people say new year new me, I get it. I love the idea of reinventing yourself, and making everything make sense. For me, a huge portion of how I came to love myself stemmed from those who truly loved me. Not the ones I loved, there is a difference. I’ve loved a lot of people over the course of my life, and maybe a handful loved me back. Nine out of tens times, if that person is telling you something is up, you probably need a slice of humble pie, and a long look into the mirror. It’s never too late.
In honor of blogging for three years, I have finally decided to do a giveaway. All you have to do is sign up to the email list, and the winner will be selected from that list! I’m giving away a Kate Spade Cardholder (literally a staple for the warmer months, and small bags!), and my holy grail mask, Summer Friday’s Jet Lag Mask! By entering your email, you will be entered to win this month’s package, as well as agreeing to receive one monthly newsletter via email! I promise they are fun!
Entry Rules and Terms
- Must be over 18 years old, the giveaway is open to United States residents only.
- Winner will be chosen at random, and must be subscribed to ashleestuart.com.
- Winner will be notified through email provided!
- Giveaway will end June 15th, 2018 at 11:59pm
- Both items are brand new, and will be shipped by me.
Do you have any tips that helped you love yourself?